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Gertie's List Of Courier No-No's.

Written by Gertie | 05-Jul-2013 10:40:00

I find this extremely unprofessional and unattractive.
'Inked on a Bike' (c) 2008 istolethetv. Used under a Creative Commons license.

Hello, my darlings!

I hope this post finds you all well, and that you have enjoyed our standard British one-week summer. Things unfortunately seem to be back to normality this week, though (expect rain soonish), so old Auntie Gertie decided to make a little post to hopefully cheer you all up!

Today's entry has to do with a number of behaviours I've seen courier drivers and messengers adopt when delivering a parcel which, quite frankly, irritate me no end.

Most of these could also be applied to other professions, but there are a few that are made even worse when the person doing them is someone who regularly has to walk up to strangers' doors and interact with them. In fact, these examples of unprofessional behaviour irk me so much that I've taken to making use of my clout with courier companies around here (I know pretty much everyone in this area) and scolding drivers I catch indulging in them! Let me tell you, darlings, many a lad out there has been leaving Auntie Gertie's doorstep with ringing ears in recent times!

But what exactly are these behaviours that leave me so upset and irritated? Well, I can tell you one of them is the blasted chewing gum. I detest seeing young people chewing gum in any setting, but you would think in a work situation, where you're required to look professional in front of customers, people would know better than to do it? (And by the way, it can actually be dangerous!) Yet more often than not, some young man (or sometimes a girl) will come traipsing up to my door gnawing away, and then try to talk to me while they chew. No, no, no. Sorry, love. First you spit it out, then we can carry on. You're a courier, not a hooligan!

Another thing that royally annoys me is when a courier comes up to my door listening to loud music on their headphones. I know they're handy for when you're bored or when you're on your way somewhere – even though you should not wear them in this case, either, because there are cars and all sorts of other dangers around you that you should be paying attention to. But when you are talking to someone and delivering their parcel, it is supremely rude to have whatever noisy music you like blasting from your ears! Again, I always tell any courier I catch doing this to switch off their music first before they talk to me. It may seem harsh, but I know they'll thank me later.

The rest of 'Gertie's courier pet peeves' are not as serious, and are mostly smaller things, so I'll mention them all together to keep this post from running too long. If you're a courier and you're dealing with me, however, take note of the following: cover up your tattoos; don't call me 'love' or 'lady' - I have a name, or 'Ma'am' will be fine as well; don't mumble – you went to school to learn to speak properly, so do it; and please don't park your bike on my lawn, especially not on top of my flowers! There's a wall outside the house for that, so USE IT! Angry face!

I'm sorry, dears – I realise I'm coming across as a grumpy old lady. But I think these are things all young people, especially those in the courier business, should hear and think about. Most of the young courier drivers and messengers in my area already prefer to mend their ways rather than listen to me scold them – hopefully, those of you who are reading this post will take my words to heart, and do the same.

For now, ta-ra!

Gertie
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