Courier Exchange Blog

How Self-Employed Courier Jobs Can Help You Escape Zombies!

Posted by Gertie on 16-Dec-2013 11:05:05

“Zombies_79201360.jpg” (c) 2005 iluvrhinestones. Used under a Creative Commons license.

Hello my dears!

Some days, I love this ‘job’. You all know how much I like when you darlings give me amazing answers to my fan-question thingies, but another great aspect of being a blogger is getting the kind of message I’ll be reproducing here today. Using this sort of imagination in a message that will probably not even get published only proves how much you like old Gertie and this blog!

But what is this amazing message that has Gertie raving so much, you ask? Well, one of my readers wrote in with a few thoughts on how self-employed courier jobs might help you in case of...a zombie infection! That’s right, somebody has been watching too many late-night films and decided to apply their theory to most of my readership’s field of expertise! So, John, I’m curious – how do self-employed courier jobs help you in case of a zombie apocalypse? Enlighten us!

‘Hey there Gertie! Excuse me for filling your mailbox up just a little bit more (I know how backlogged you must be!), but I have something fun to share with you, and hopefully everyone if you decide to publish this. It has to do with how self-employed courier jobs are useful in case a zombie apocalypse ever happens.

Now, before you start laughing, hear me out. I started rolling this idea around in my head as I was watching the film ’28 Days Later’. In case you have never watched it (which you probably haven’t), it’s a zombie film where the main character is a bicycle courier in London. This immediately reminded me of your blog, and of how many of us have self-employed courier jobs. I started thinking, and I realised that if something like the film ever takes place, we’ll be among the best equipped to escape. Here’s why.

- We’ve got escape vehicles. Duh. Many of us only have bicycles, but even those would come in handy, since zombies are typically really slow (some films have ‘fast’ zombies, but I’m working with the stereotype here). In another film, ‘Cockneys vs Zombies’, an old geezer even escapes a zombie using a walker! So by the time they started ambling toward us, most of us would be halfway to the next county!

- We know our areas better than other people. One of the best bits about working self-employed courier jobs is that you never need a GPS – at least not for your area of coverage. If zombies ever started attacking, most couriers would be able to escape using those back alleys, shortcuts and footpaths no one else knows!

- We keep our composure. Once you’ve dealt with a few difficult clients, zombies are easy peasy – the two aren’t even all that different!

- We are protected. Between bicycle helmets, reflective vests and (in the winter) jackets, zombies would need to put in extra work to pierce through to our flesh. Man-and-van operators would have it even better, for obvious reasons.

- There’s always a heavy-ish parcel handy. You know, to hit them with...?

So you see, my theory is not as goofy as it seemed at first, is it? And the best part is, it doesn’t just apply to self-employed courier jobs – you can pretty much use it in any critical situation!

Those were my two cents – keep up the good work!

- John”

I’m speechless with how much sense that actually makes. I have nothing, dears, sorry.


- Gertie

Topics: Courier Jobs